The moment you decide you’re getting a divorce, your very first priority needs to be finding a good attorney. I know, not the fun part. But I promise you this – doing your homework now will make all the difference later.
I remember that – sitting at my desk in front of my laptop, emotions all over the place, trying to Google while crying into a cup of tea. Not cute. But doing the research upfront gave me the confidence to make smarter decisions when everything around me felt uncertain.
And when you get to the end of this post, you’ll understand why that research really matters.
STEP 1: Find at least THREE attorneys to interview
This isn’t the time to just grab the first name you see. Your divorce attorney will shape how your separation unfolds — legally, emotionally, and financially. So do your research and then narrow it down to three attorneys you feel might be a good fit. Why? Because you’re going to interview them. Yep, you read that right. You’re the one doing the interviewing. I know it may sound intense, but this is your future..
So how do you find three you even like?
*Ask your inner circle
Start by reaching out to close, trusted friends. See if anyone has a recommendation or knows someone who does.Not ready to share your situation publicly? No problem. Ask your best friend to ask around “for a friend.” (That’s what I did.) Believe me, women who’ve been through it love sharing info on good lawyers — because we all want each other to win.
*Do your online research:
Start with a simple Google search, “Divorce lawyers in [Your City].” Pretty simple right? Well once you do this, you need to do a deep dive into each one. And I’m not talking just reading some reviews, do a deep dive like you would do on Instagram when something grabs your attention! Read reviews, visit their website, check if they are on Instagram, and investigate any complaints filed against them on the Better Business Bureau. Make sure to google their name and see what comes up. If you’re going to be trusting someone with your story, your assets, your parenting plan — make sure you feel solid about who they are.
STEP 2: Set Up the Interview
Once you’ve got your list, start reaching out and booking consults. You’re going to be sharing emotional, sometimes traumatic, details of very personal situations in your life, so you want someone who makes you feel safe, supported, and respected. Trust your gut. This person will be walking with you through one of the most pivotal chapters of your life. Prepare what you will tell them about you and the basics of your situation. This is not where you need to go into every single detail, but you need to be able to give them the full picture. It’s also important to prepare the questions you will want to ask.
(Need help on what to ask during the interview? I’ve got a guide for that — click here.)
Quick but Crucial Legal Hack:
Here’s the part most people don’t know — and it’s why I told you this research is worth it.
Once you contact an attorney (even if you don’t hire them), your spouse legally can’t use them. So, if you interview a lawyer, they’re off-limits to your ex. That’s why it’s smart to reach out to the top 2–3 attorneys in your area right away. But the reverse is also true — if your ex contacts them first, they’re off the table for you.
This part of the process might feel heavy, but you’re not just getting a lawyer — you’re protecting your future. Be smart. Be strategic. And most of all, trust yourself.
You’ve got this, Powerhouse.
xo, Heather
